MGWCC #496

 

hello and welcome to episode #496 of matt gaffney’s weekly crossword contest, “Product Placement”. for this week 1 (of 5) puzzle, i didn’t use the instructions. what are the theme answers? well, first of all, the crossword is a little smaller than usual (13×13). second, there are seven across answers with very, very long clues:

• {“I’m Matt Gaffney, professional crossword writer. People often ask me: ‘Matt, where do you get the energy to write all these crosswords?’ And I tell them: ‘A good night’s sleep is important, so you’ll never catch me on any mattress that’s not a ___'”} SERTA.
• {“I also believe in rewarding myself after I’ve polished up a particularly clever crossword. How? More often than not, by polishing off a particularly delicious bowl of ___ ice cream. [Eats spoonful of ice cream] Mmmm!”} EDY’S.
• {“Keeping your creativity up means keeping your inner child thriving. When I’m stuck for an idea, I spend a few minutes tinkering with the ___ set I keep at the office. Makes me feel like a kid again — and hey! I just came up with a new idea!”} LEGO.
• {“Comfort in the office is also key. A crossword writer can’t work unless they’re wearing clothes that look good and feel great [puts feet on desk], which is why I’m so often weaving those words in my favorite pair of ___ jeans.”} LEVI’S.
• {“When it’s time for an afternoon snack, I do what any true crossword writer would — I reach for that sleeve of ___ cookies on my bookshelf. They’re black-and-white, just like crosswords!”} OREO.
• {“When I’m traveling to a crossword puzzle event, I need to show up on time. My fans want to see me — and I want to see them! So I never play taxicab roulette — I always take an ___ to my destination.”} UBER.
• {“And at the end of the workday, I always drive the .71 miles from my office to my home in my sporty, energy-efficient ___. It uses no fossil fuels, so I’m both driving those four minutes in style and comfort, but I’m also reducing my carbon footprint.”} TESLA.

taking the first letters of those seven answers in order gives SELLOUT. since the instructions, it turns out, ask for a seven-letter noun, that’s our answer.

this is an amusing but very easy meta. i hope nobody working on a year-end prize was stymied by this one, even if we were forced to solve it without help!

bits & pieces:

• {“How come you still haven’t…” retort} “I DID”. oh, snap!
• {Milwaukee’s NBA team} BUCKS. please enjoy this clip from last night’s BUCKS-celtics game of giannis antetokounmpo dunking over a defender stationed outside the restricted area. those arms are so long, it’s no wonder they call him “the greek freak”.
• {“___ the candle back” (“Young Frankenstein” line)} PUT.

that’s all i’ve got this week. did you enjoy this one?