The Challenge: The recent newspaper profile of T Campbell reminded me that I have been remiss in launching that blog contest T and I had discussed. In keeping with the epic size of his Ubercross Fiddy puzzle, this contest is going big: Think of a lively entry that’s between 24 and 50 letters long, and pair it with a good clue. The New York Times Sunday puzzle sometimes goes plus-sized with a 23×23, but the really big answers demand the Fiddy scale, which is 50×50.
The Prize: The coolest answer/clue combo (as judged imperiously by me) wins a hard copy of the Ubercross Fiddy, a $14.99 value. That’s three 11″x17″ sheets with the grid in the middle of page 2 with clues above and below it, and pages 1 and 3 filled with clues. I worked the puzzle on a good-sized lap desk but any desk or table will do, too. (Not recommended for commuter solving, as you’d be elbowing your neighbors.) The grid squares are about the same size as in newspaper crosswords. And as I’ve said before, the puzzle’s got all this:
- 768 entries and clues, with an Onion A.V. Club crossword vibe and playful clues
- Regular crossword symmetry
- No full-on repeats in the fill
- No 2-letter answers
- Fits the sensibilities of Gen Xers and Millennials, so it’s not your grandmother’s crossword (I mean, look at the title—does your grandma know that people call rapper 50 Cent “Fiddy,” and that this puzzle is fiddy-by-fiddy?)
- No reliance on names known only to hardcore sports fans (if sports is your cruciverbal Achilles heel, rejoice!)
- Precious little in the way of deadly crossings
The Details: Leave your submissions in the comments by next Friday, April 23, at noon Central.
THE QUICK BROWN FOX JUMPS OVER THE LAZY DOG (Noted pangram)
PETER PIPER PICKED A PECK OF PICKLED PEPPERS
Start of a twister?
word(s): endoplasmic reticulum
clue: 2 words-responsible for production of protein and lipid components of most cell’s organelles
Matt S.’s and *David*’s were my first two ideas, and they’re symmetric! DR STRANGELOVE OR HOW I LEARNED TO STOP WORRYING AND LOVE THE BOMB is a 54. Amy would probably like PRECIOUS BASED ON THE NOVEL PUSH BY SAPPHIRE, but I’m gonna have to enter [Reflexive fear?], HIPPOPOTOMONSTROSESQUIPPEDALIOPHOBIA.
Let me be literal:
TWENTYFIVEFILLEDINSQUARES
[What answering this requires?]
{“One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, ___!”} (41)
Spoiler space…
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SCHLEMIELSCHLIMAZELHASENPFEFFERINCORPORATED
ERNESTHEMINGWAYAFAREWELLTOARMSTHESUNALSORISES (45)
[Question whose answer is blowin’ in the wind] (48):
HOW MANY ROADS MUST A MAN WALK DOWN BEFORE YOU CALL HIM A MAN?
Annual word nerd herd destination (33)
AMERICAN CROSSWORD PUZZLE TOURNAMENT
Er, mine should be 43 letters, not 41.
Miner inconvenience? = PNEUMONOULTRAMICROSCOPICSILICOVOLCANOCONIOSIS (45)
Clue: Film vow of revenge heard after “Hello.”
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Ans:
MY NAME IS INIGO MONTOYA. YOU KILLED MY FATHER. PREPARE TO DIE. (49)
(No, it’s not “You stink at cluing (16)”).
Contest or not, it throws a Princess Bride quote in there. And that’s enough for me today :). Have fun, all!
Clue: Coolest blog
Answer: DIARY OF A CROSSWORD FIEND STARRING AMY REYNALDO AKA ORANGE (50)
Clue:
Screen line delivered through a net
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Answer:
GET YOUR STINKING PAWS OFF ME YOU DAMN DIRTY APE
(39)
P.S. LOL at Niemand.
Literary equivalent to Wikipedia on an iPad? (30)
THE HITCHHIKER’S GUIDE TO THE GALAXY
“Sexy Sadie” lead-in (47)
EVERYBODY’S GOT SOMETHING TO HIDE EXCEPT ME AND MY MONKEY
[Musical hit from The Sound of Music 2: Von Trapped In Oz] (50)
SO LONG, FAREWELL, AUF WIEDERSEHEN, GOODBYE YELLOW BRICK ROAD
Here’s my attempt at a theme, all of which is really just meant to justify #4.
1. Aquatic showdown between prehistoric “rivals”. . . and a terrible movie (2009) [27]
2. A UFO-seeking coulrophobe’s greatest fear . . . and a terrible movie (1988) [26]
3. A star-crossed tale of American Idols . . . and, unsurprisingly, a terrible movie (2003) [25]
4. Cult TV show that made terrible movies more watchable . . . and, ironically, a terrible movie (1996) [42]
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1. MEGASHARKVERSUSGIANTOCTOPUS
2. KILLERKLOWNSFROMOUTERSPACE
3. FROMJUSTINTOKELLYWITHLOVE
4. MYSTERYSCIENCETHEATERTHREETHOUSANDTHEMOVIE
Circular saw? (25) … WHAT GOES AROUND COMES AROUND
Hmm… I seem to be mining in the same area as Eric LeVasseur…
Except I can’t seem to clue it cutely:
Drink that is “like having your brain smashed out by a slice of lemon wrapped round a large gold brick.” (24)
PANGALACTICGARGLEBLASTER
HIKING THE APPALACHIAN TRAIL (25)
Poor excuse for a governor?
BUFFALO BUFFALO BUFFALO BUFFALO BUFFALO BUFFALO BUFFALO (49)
Why the bison in Upstate New York are always so confused
I was going to try to think of my own, but there’s no way I’ll top Jangler’s.
@Jonah – ha! Anyone remember that NPR contest a while back when people had to come up with sentences like that? If you’re having a hard time parsing Jonah’s, it translates to “Buffalo (NY)-area bison who confuse Buffalo (NY)-area bison themselves confuse Buffalo (NY)-area bion”